As a mixed race person who’s moved between worlds all my life, I’ve been fascinated and often perplexed (still am, in fact) with how we construct identity and find our “people.”

I’ll be honest – both in my personal and professional life, the question of identity has often been a painful and challenging thing for me. But I’ve found that the more I’m willing to lean into the conversation – first with myself, then with others – the more connection I find, and the more easily I’m able to sit with the ambiguity of not neatly fitting in one place or another. My leadership challenge has been to learn to begin to powerfully speak from that place of ambiguity – the middle space – and to develop tools and conversations to support others who find themselves in the middle space as well to do the same.

I found this presentation by actor Sarah Jones to be a fun, poignant and inspiring way to explore the idea of the “middle space.” In the introduction she says, “We’re all born into certain circumstances with particular physical traits, unique developmental and historical contexts – but then what? To what extent do we self-construct and self-invent? What if we could be anyone at anytime?”

A few weeks ago I found myself surrounded by a group of executive coaches who, just like me, care passionately about supporting positive change in our communities through fostering strong leadership. I was attending a coaches retreat hosted by LeaderSpring, a great organization I am working with to provide coaching to nonprofit Executive Directors.

During the retreat, we were asked to share our reasons for doing the work we do, and one person’s response in particular has pushed me into much reflection. She talked about ancestors: how we are buoyed by those who came before us – and intriguingly, how we are becoming the ancestors who will buoy those who come after us.

I have forever been grateful to those who have come before me in the work – on whose shoulders I now stand. But I’ve never thought of myself as an "ancestor". It’s never really occurred to me that someone might need, not just value, my work, or that they could be inspired by my actions.

Mentorship is a natural sharing of knowledge that supports both people in the relationship in different ways. How amazing it is for a seasoned person to know that their perspective is needed, and how wonderful for someone new to the work to benefit from the knowledge gained through living. I not only want to thank those who have mentored me, but also recognize more fully the mentorship role that I can, and should, play for others.

As I said several posts back, ultimately we are all participating in a circular pattern of of influence and inspired action. We need each other.

How are you living into your role as ancestor?

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of having dinner with Dr. Ramesh Awasthi and Manisha Gupte, founders and directors of MASUM. MASUM works in the Pune District and other areas of India, and its focus is to support oppressed, marginalized and minority groups in resisting and addressing casteism, sexism, religious chauvinism and homophobia. Many of their programs focus on creating options for women to become self reliant and to speak – and act – on their own behalf.

There was so much in my conversation with Manisha and Ramesh that was thought provoking, eye opening and moving. But in this moment, what I am sitting with is a single moment I shared with Manisha that touched me deeply.

We were talking about MASUM’s beginnings, and about the influences that have shaped Manisha and Ramesh’s work. Mohandas K. Gandhi’s work was and is foundational for them. The civil rights movement here in the United States has also had significant influence for those working on behalf of social change in India. The song “We Shall Overcome” (a “standard” of the civil rights movement) has become so well known in Indian culture that, as Manisha said, some are shocked to find that it didn’t originate in India.

And in the middle of Café Flora, Manisha sang the song for me – in Hindi. A song that I’ve grown up singing at marches and protests and is for me the essence the civil rights and larger social justice movements of the United States, has been adopted by those pursuing social change in India – and they have made it their own. And of course, Gandhi’s nonviolent resistance movement strongly influenced Dr. Martin Luther King.

It is, in fact, a circular pattern of influence and inspired action based on each other’s courage. And it made me think: we lose these connections so easily, not because we don’t care, but because we are so busy doing our work. But how much more impact could we have if we held these ties as central and essential, and called them out explicitly on a regular basis? I think new tools, ideas and frameworks would become more easily available, and our collective effort could touch, feed, inspire and re-inspire us. I also think we would be more effective in what we’re trying to accomplish in our everyday work.

And that generative, evolutionary connectedness is how I think we will overcome. It is our hope. In that moment with Manisha I was given the gift of seeing our many efforts as a connected whole.

My many thanks to Manisha.